My Two Cents | Interesting Family Convo | Why Do Numbers Matter? A Conversation About Vanity Sizing, Gender Expectations, and Raising Better Humans

Today, I had an interesting conversation with my dad on the way to lunch with the family. It all started with a comment my mom made about vanity sizing in women’s clothing. For a bit of backstory, my mom sews, and she mentioned how shocking it is to discover your actual size when you make your own clothes. Store sizes, she explained, are often smaller than the size you’d need to sew for yourself. This sparked a lively discussion in the car.

My dad, curious as ever, asked, “Since when? When did they change clothing sizes?” My mom replied, “From the beginning. When they started adding sizes to women’s clothing, they made the numbers smaller to make women feel better.”

This led my dad to make a comment about women and vanity, suggesting that this was just another example of how vain women are. Naturally, I couldn’t let that slide. I jumped in, ready to unpack the psychology behind why size matters so much to women.

The Psychology of Numbers and Beauty Standards

As women, we’re constantly pressured to fit into societal beauty standards. Numbers—whether they’re on a scale, a clothing tag, or a measuring tape—carry immense weight. The bigger the number, the more judgment we face. From a young age, we’re conditioned to believe that smaller is better. As teenagers, we compare ourselves to actresses and models on TV, striving to look like them.

This obsession with numbers isn’t just about pleasing men, though that’s certainly part of it. Many men seem to prefer thinner women, perpetuating the idea that being “tiny” is the ideal. But it goes beyond romantic relationships. Even in professional settings, like a doctor’s office, weight can overshadow everything else. If you’re overweight, nine times out of ten, a doctor will dismiss your concerns and tell you to lose weight, as if that’s a magical cure-all.

The Other Side of the Coin: Men and Unrealistic Expectations

At this point in the conversation, my dad chimed in, “Men have it hard too. There are issues with men as well.” And he’s absolutely right. Unrealistic expectations aren’t exclusive to women. Boys are raised to be strong, stoic, and invulnerable. Vulnerability is seen as weakness, and weakness is equated with not being “man enough.”

This creates a toxic cycle where men feel they can’t express sadness, depression, or hurt. They’re taught to suppress their emotions, which can lead to serious mental health issues. As a society, we’re essentially raising boys to believe that being human—feeling deeply and expressing emotions—is unacceptable.

Breaking the Cycle: Raising Better Humans

The root of these issues lies in how we raise our children. Girls are taught to hate their bodies, constantly comparing themselves to others and striving for unattainable perfection. Boys are taught to suppress their emotions and equate strength with silence. This approach is harmful to everyone.

Thankfully, many parents today are moving away from these outdated norms, and I couldn’t be happier about it. I firmly believe that gender should play a minimal role in how we raise kids. Instead of focusing on raising “girly girls” or “strong boys,” why not focus on raising emotionally intelligent, kind, and respectful humans?

At the end of the day, we’re all human. Gender is important for reproduction, sure, but when it comes to raising good people, it’s not the most critical factor. What matters most is teaching kids to be empathetic, self-aware, and accepting of themselves and others.

This conversation with my family reminded me of how deeply ingrained societal expectations are and how much work we still have to do. Vanity sizing, beauty standards, and gender roles are all interconnected, shaping how we see ourselves and others. But change is possible. By challenging these norms and raising the next generation differently, we can create a world where numbers don’t define us, and kindness and emotional intelligence take center stage.

Just my two cents. What are your thoughts? Let’s keep the conversation going.

Okay, you’ve official made it to the end of my Blog, and as always my lovelies, have a great day and happy reading!! I’d love to hear your thoughts, but let’s keep the discussion respectful and kind. All sides are welcome to join in, but the discussion needs to remain respectful, constructive, and kind! Rudeness will not be tolerated and comments will be deleted! Let’s discuss in the comments!

Disclaimers

Medical Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, licensed therapist, or counselor. The information provided in this blog is based on personal experience, learned life lessons, and insights gained from my own journey with therapy. It is important to seek help from a licensed professional if you are in crisis or in need of immediate assistance. Please reach out to your local agencies or contact a help hotline for the support you require. (Trevor Project: Text 678-678)

Medical & Religious Disclaimer: I do not claim to be an expert on the topics discussed in this blog. I am constantly learning and evolving, and the information provided is based on my personal experiences, conversations with friends, and research. If you come across any inaccuracies or incorrect information, I encourage you to kindly bring it to my attention so that I can make the necessary corrections. While I strive to be as accurate as possible, I am not an expert in any religion or mental health issues. Your feedback is valuable to me, as I am always eager to learn and improve.

GeneralDisclaimer: I do not claim to be an expert on the topics discussed in this blog. I am constantly learning and evolving, and the information provided is based on my personal experiences, conversations with friends, and research. If you come across any inaccuracies or incorrect information, I encourage you to kindly bring it to my attention so that I can make the necessary corrections. While I strive to be as accurate as possible, I am not an expert in topic of conversation, I’m not sure I believe anyone can be an expert in anything when we are always learning and new information is always being discovered. Your feedback is valuable to me, as I am always eager to learn and improve. (The key word is KINDLY bring any errors to my attention, rudeness will be ignored.)

About the Author:

A. Jean is a fantasy romance author of the Shadows of The Faye Series and the upcoming Dance With The Devil: The Slayer's Descent. As a self-published indie author, she loves creating intricate worlds and connecting with her audience through her books, social media, and blog. When she’s not writing, you can find her tending to her farm animals or dreaming up her next fantastical adventure. Follow her journey as an indie author and aspiring hybrid author to learn more about the publishing process and writing life!